"They're Here"

Today I went to Costco. I would consider this biweekly experience to be fairly mundane. The thing is – and I may have mentioned this before – even mundane things can make me feel like an outsider. Costco in Sandy, Utah looks just like any other Costco ON THE OUTSIDE! Inside is a whole different matter. I shop amidst dozens of large blonde families loading their carts with Dinosaur nuggets, and more milk than my family consumes in a couple of months. I stroll by “modest dresses”, yearly food storage paraphernalia and a special display of LDS artwork. Occasionally I am taken aback by a group of polygamists dressed in stereotypical fashion. So, for those of you living elsewhere this probably doesn’t sound mundane. Your head might just be spinning around not knowing which direction to gawk at first. I am fairly used to it by now. However, today I was specifically struck by the book section. I thought I might share a small sampling of what I saw there. For some reason, I found it particularly attention grabbing.

I actually think a Jewish family handbook might come in handy occasionally, although I am positive my family would not concur.

Not my cup of tea, but OK.

From what I understand it should be made easier, so this should please a lot of people.

Remember in the glossary that Beyond the Veil is the after life. I have some friends that would love this one!

My thoughts exactly!!!

Kind of like the Junior League Cookbook for Mormons.

I admit, I am just teasing about the other books, but seriously this one really ticked me off!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure why I noticed this today. I guess it just seems that no matter where I go or what I do as long as I live in Utah there will always be subtle reminders that “They’re Here!” The truth is, however, the real Poltergeist seems to be me.

"A Kiss is Just A Kiss"

Not in Salt Lake City it isn’t!!!!!! For about ten days there has been a serious buzz here in the Beehive State about an innocent kiss on Main Street Plaza. Apparently, two men were walking home from a downtown concert and one put his arm around the other and kissed him on the cheek. An LDS Temple security guard apparently felt that this kiss was “inappropriate behavior” and he asked the men to leave the area. The men got angry and it seems weren’t very nice to the security guard. In the end they were handcuffed and cited for trespassing.

Two weekends in a row there have been “kiss ins” on the plaza in protest of church actions. Can you imagine… dozens of couples – gay and straight – just kissing right out in public? Being from San Francisco I can actually imagine it, but here in Utah the church is outraged – the community is outraged, and the Salt Lake Tribune devotes several articles every day to the incident. Really?????

Where do I begin??? I have so much to say about this event that my head feels like it may EXPLODE! In my humble opinion the LDS church does have the right take this action on their property. I, in turn, have the right to think the church is bigoted and unfair. This kiss was deemed inappropriate only because it was a gay couple doing the kissing. I have seen photos (ad nauseum) of couples just married in the temple kissing in the very same spot these men chose to display a bit of harmless affection. Honestly…. the church doesn’t get why people outside of this state think they are nuts?

Here is a situation to ponder. Two young men show up on MY property and behave in ways I think are extremely inappropriate(telling me their religion is superior to mine) and I ask them nicely to leave. They are upset and they think I am discriminating against them and who they are and they get a bit perturbed. Should I have them handcuffed and arrested for trespassing on my property? Would any of my Mormon friends ever speak to me again? Well, let’s just say I know the answers and so do you. The thing is – it would be within my rights to have them arrested and it would be within the rights of my friends to be angry with me. Missionaries are sacred to them and they don’t deserve to be discriminated against just because I don’t approve of proselytizing. If you are a rational human being, you will realize the same should go for those two men exchanging a kiss on Main Street Plaza. If you don’t approve of this gay couple– fine – but…. having them arrested is gross discrimination. So listen up – church members – if you want respect you just might want to try giving some!! I hold out hope that we can find mutual respect and understanding so that truly “A Kiss is just a Kiss, a sigh is just a sigh, the fundamental things apply….As Time Goes By.”

"Definitely Not Wearing Any Underwear" Dustin Hoffman in Rain Man

Much controversy exists over secrecy in the Mormon religion. Mormon under garments are particularly mysterious to those of us outside the church. I have often heard these garments referred to as “secret underwear”. Now personally, I think all underwear should be secret. I don’t really want to know what anyone is wearing under their clothing! OK… some of you do – especially if those in question are Megan Fox or Brad Pitt. But really when thinking about your average Joe walking down the street, I hope not. So, why does anyone care that these unattractive bits of clothing are private? I think the answer lies in the fact that outsiders don’t know anything about how, why, or when a person receives these lovely gems. I have actually done some research and am thrilled to share these little bits of garment knowledge with all of you.

There is actually a website called: mormon-underwear .com and here is what it says:

“To millions of Mormons around the world, garments are a special piece of clothing worn as a symbolic gesture of the promises that they have made to God. The garment is always worn under other clothing, next to the skin. For most people who wear it, the garment takes the place of regular underwear. (For this reason, some people refer to the garment as Mormon undergarments or as Mormon underwear. Most LDS prefer simply using the term "garment" instead.)
The garment is directly related to Mormon temples. It is there that faithful members first receive the garment after individual instruction on what it stands for and how it should be cared for. The garment is worn as part of a special ceremony called the temple endowment. The garment is worn at all times (day and night) by members as a constant reminder of the promises they have made to God in the Temple to be honest and faithful to the commandments of the Lord.”

Wow! Now you know as much as I do. If “temple worthy” Mormons wear these garments at all times then that certainly leaves all kinds of questions that I with limited knowledge cannot answer. You will just have to use your imaginations. As for me and my underwear….I choose to keep them a secret but I can tell you this with regards to the eye-catching numbers pictured above – This California girl is definitely not wearing any underwear!!!!

“Go Ahead, Make My Day”

Remember that I wanted this blog to be interactive? I was hoping that all the "PLU'S" would share their stories about life in Utah. I know you are out there and I know you are reading. I run into people every day and hear their stories, so I'm just wondering – why no sharing ? What can I do to encourage you to write? I am not very good at begging, but half the fun is in knowing "People Like Us" are out there and we are not alone in this crazy life. Maybe Dirty Harry had it right. Let's see how his tactics work for encouragement. So….I dare you – "Go Ahead….Make My Day!!!!"