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Tuesday, December 24, 2013

"Why, sometimes Ive believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." Alice in Alice in Wonderland

Well, the "impossible" happened Friday in Utah.  Gay couples lined up to get marriage licenses and were getting married right on the spot.  It is safe to say that most Americans did not think this was even a remote possibilty.  Yet, Robert J. Shelby, a very brave federal judge, made it possible.  History marches on, despite narrow minds, and bigotry.   Justice and equality triumph again!  I do know that the majority of citizens in Utah are against gay marriage.  Governor Herbert has already said he will fight the decision and the fight has begun in the courts already.  He argues that 66% of Utahns believe marriage is between one man and one woman.  That is just fine, but irrrelevant.  If 66% of Alabamans thought slavery was a great institution should we have left it in place?  Honest people, know the answer is obvious.

I think everyone has the right to their beliefs whether I like them or not.  However, those beliefs, many of which are religious based, have no place in policy.  Allowing gay couples to marry and have the rights to all the benefits that go along with marriage, is called equality!  It is a major tenet of our nation.  The LDS Church does not have to marry gay couples.  The Church can continue along just as it always has.  However, it has no right to influence law and make others follow its rules.  We do not live in a theocracy, much as it looks like it sometimes.

The fight over this decision is a waste of valuable resources.  Utah will spend loads of money on a fight they will not win.  We have so many pressing issues in this state - sub par education, horrible air quality, poverty etc.  Wouldn't it be better to use funds to solve these issues for our citizens.  A lot of couples were married over the last few days and their lives are happier. What harm was really done?
The "institution of marriage"  was made stronger not weaker!

I am thrilled that the "impossible" happened Friday!   I feel sorry for those who cannot share in that happiness.  My life is better today because other's lives are better!  Love wins and the "impossible" looks beautiful!  Hope is high and I can't wait to see the next "impossible" event.  Maybe, just maybe, peace on Earth!  When pigs fly you say, when hell freezes... Well check this out my friends



M said...

I came across this blog the other day in a desperate attempt to find others who felt the same way I do living in this state. Growing up here as a nonmember has been difficult and now I am having to relive it through my own children. Thanks. Being able to read other people's similar experiences makes me feel not as alone.

jill said...

Hi M! Glad you found my blog. I am sorry you to hear you have had similar experiences in Utah and especially sorry to hear your children are experiencing that as well. You are not alone at all! There are so many people who feel isolated and judged by the LDS community. My family has moved to Salt Lake City and it is SO much better here! I would love for you to tell your stories here as I think it helps my LDS readers understand why some of their actions are hurtful even when that is not their intention. While I have some readers who get angry when they hear our experiences, most of them are truly sorry and try to do a better job being inclusive and not making assumptions that we all are members of the LDS church. I don't write often, but when I hear from people like you it inspires me to write. Thank you for that!

M said...

Growing up here I have realized that once members find out you are not mormon, you don't exist. Murray, different parts of Sandy, St. George, Riverton, etc all the same experience. From fourth grade on to my life as an adult it has always been the same. They are super friendly and inviting in the beginning but the moment they find out you don't go to church and have no interest in going they stop talking to you. Even their kids stop talking to you. Anyone who denies that this is how they act is blind. I have the utmost respect for someone's personal beliefs and I would never push my views on to someone who feels differently. For some reason I am not deserving of that same respect. I have learned to just keep to myself but once I had kids I tried to be more outgoing, for their sake. I hoped it would be different. I even joined a local book club trying to make friends but that didn't last. It made it hard to participate when women in my own neighborhood could be so friendly in a group setting but would glare at me for buying beer at the store or completely ignore me at the park. So yet again I do not exist and I will still smile, be polite and deal with it. I can handle having them look me in the eye and walk past my house as if I weren't there but it breaks my heart to see it with my kids. I wish they had the tough skin I had to build up over the years. I wish I could say don't be upset you weren't invited to the neighbors birthday party (who they were best friends with early on but now barely speaks to) but it is not that easy. We will just continue to be kind, even if it isn't given back and be strong. At least we have each other.