"Present your mission call with this postcard, and get a free tie and $50 off your first order."
Just wondering, did any of you outside of the beehive state get this in your mailbox? Really, I'm not complaining - simply pointing out that there is never a day that I am not reminded where I live and whom I live with. For those of you who didn't get this in your mailbox, I feel the need to fill you in on everything I learned about the "missionary mall"(I will add that term to my glossary).
"Did you know we helped over 16,000 missionaries last year?
That is over half of all missionaries that went out!"
(Nope didn't know that)
"Missionaries have discovered that it's not just the hundreds of dollars we save them when they shop with us before their missions -- it's also the hundreds of dollars they never have to spend replacing their gear in the mission field thanks to our exclusive two year wearproof guarantee."
"If anything wears out on your mission, just send us a picture and we replace the item free of charge."
"Get mission tested gear from our super friendly staff of recently returned missionaries."
(Of course they are super friendly!)
"Future sister missionaries are welcome to use this discount at our sister's store next to the Elder's store."
(Definitely don't want sisters and Elders shopping in the same place - who knows what could happen? Also why is Elder capitalized and not sister?)
To clarify, David does not need a new tie so he will not be going on a mission for the mormon church!
"no such person...no such zone"